Confession

It was a rough weekend, made worse by the fact that I did something really stupid: I backed my car into a stump and did quite a bit of damage. I love my car and feel bad that I hurt it. Even worse, we really don't need an enormous repair bill right now.

So here's the story. I got to the place for the Bridal Show on Saturday to get my booth set up, and it wasn't all what I expected. It was at a beachfront hotel, but instead of a resort, it looked more like a run-down motel where only the reception area has been remodeled. But the Show wasn't in the main building; they directed me to a large metal shed-type building in back. Sure enough, this building that looked like a showroom for used cars was it. Only one other exhibitor had set up their space, and it didn't look like there were that many more--maybe 20 total. I was shown to my space, and it was tiny. Since no one else was there, I could pull my car right up to the back door to unload my stuff, so that's what I did. I like doing these shows, but this was really disappointing. I was stewing over having spent quite a bit of money and committed an entire weekend to this. Someone else arrived and parked so that I could not pull forward, so I decided to back out.

There were obstacles everywhere: dumpsters, trees, piles of old patio furniture and other assorted trash, but I had driven in, so it must be possible to back out. I zigged around a dumpster, narrowly avoiding a bush. I zagged around a pile of pallets. I was pissed and grumpy but pretty cocky that I was nearly through this obstacle course without having to pull forward and try again. Then I gut stuck in a pothole and stalled. My car has very little low end torque, so it stalls frequently when backing up through mud or over uneven ground. I restarted and gave it some more gas, but it stalled again. I restarted again and, irritated, gave it quite a bit more gas. I came out of the hole, then boom. I was thrown back against the seat, and I guess the car must have stalled again because I don't recall turning it off.

When I got out of the car, I was surprised to see the stump. I was surprised to think that I could have not noticed it. OK, not so surprised that I couldn't see it from inside the car, but surprised that I hadn't noticed that it was there before I got into the car. It was about 10 inches in diameter and had twigs sticking out of the base. I hit the stump directly in line with the exhaust pipe, and the whole left side of the bumper was pushed in. The paint was flaking off at the point of impact, and wrinkle marks could be seen in the dust on my car. Where the bumper wraps around the car on the left side, it is now sticking out. Now I was really pissed; pissed at myself. I parked my car (without hitting anything else) and set up my booth, but my dark mood remained for the rest of the day.

I worried about how my husband would react, and that made my mood even worse. By evening, my neck and shoulders hurt from the tension. I came to the conclusion that I'd have to e-mail my husband (who's on a business trip) and fess up, but I didn't want this news to reach him on his birthday, so I waited until Monday.

On Sunday, I came to the conclusion that my bad mood probably contributed to this "accident." I was so busy pissing and moaning to myself that I wasn't paying attention enough. I wasn't practicing "mindfullness." I also suspect that my wallowing in negative energy was an open invitation for the universe to throw something negative my way. Part of me thinks that's a bunch of whooey, but even that part admits that my negative mood certainly can't have helped the situation. So Sunday morning I made the decision to let go of the negative energy and hope for the best.

The bridal show went smoothly, and with all the booths occupied, the place looked a lot better. There weren't nearly as many visitors as I had hoped for, but I did make contact with about a dozen couples that seemed really interested, so hopefully they'll be in touch.

In the meanwhile, does anyone around here have any recommendations for where I should take my car to get fixed?

For the record, the stump was undamaged, and my back and neck feel better now.