Yangshuo/Guilin: Day 9, Mr. Lee’s Wild Ride

For the first time on this trip I did not sleep well. I was kind of cold, and the bed was really hard. The single pane windows also let in a lot of noise from the street. I was already in the shower, but at 7 AM somebody lit off so many firecrackers that my mom thought there was an explosion in the hotel. Whatever the occasion was, nobody on the street reacted as if it were anything out of the ordinary. The extensive breakfast buffet at this hotel was largely Chinese, so I ate a variety of buns and a piece of toast.

Our tour started with a visit to Moon Hill a little outside of town. Our guide did not try very hard to convince us to do the hour-long hike involving 800 slippery, uneven stairs, to the top of this hill. Since there was nothing for mom to do while she waited, I decided not to do this.

The drive back to Guilin was about 1 ½ hours. I should also point out that driving in China makes Hong Kong seem calm and orderly by comparison. The concept of lanes does not exist. There is a stripe painted down the middle of the road, but as far as I can tell, it’s just decorative. Most of the traffic seems to be right-hand drive like in the US, but clearly not everybody got that memo (at least not Mr. Lee). Slower traffic is not confined to any particular portion of the street, nor is passing done on any particular side. They have traffic circles, but as far as I can tell, there are no rules that apply here at all. Traffic lights (there are a few) are merely a suggestion. The only thing that everyone seems to agree on is the need to honk: honk when turning, approaching an intersection, merging, passing, being passed, or to say hello. If you don’t like what somebody else is doing, honk like crazy, but with all the background honking, it’s unlikely they’ll notice. Our driver, Mr. Lee, does not seem the least bit concerned by any of this. He doesn’t even wear his seat belt (mom and I do, even if we’re only going a couple blocks).

On the way to Guilin, we stopped at a place called Shangri-la, a tourist trap Chinese style. We started off taking a 20 minute boat ride past actual villages and other villages constructed in the styles of different minority peoples. As western tourists, we had a boat to ourselves, not counting Angela, the driver, and the girl that helped us on and off (in the US these tasks would all have been done by the same person, but here it creates jobs). The Chinese tourists were packed into the boats like sardines. The minority people sang and danced for each boat that came by. Many of them reminded me of American Indians, and one of them even had totem poles. The boat dropped us off at a village where people were wearing their traditional costumes and doing handicrafts. There were also stations set up for tourists to pose for pictures while pretending to do these things (though not actually try it). There were also lots of places designed for people to take pictures of each other with a scenic background. In fact, taking pictures of each other seemed to be the primary purpose of visiting this place, for example, there had to be 50 people in line to take pictures with the entrance sign. I was one of very few people taking pictures primarily of the scenery and the people in costume.

Lunch was at a fancy Chinese restaurant in Guilin. Again there was much more food than we could eat, but Angela and Mr Lee declined to join us. After lunch they took us to a silk factory where they make the silk quilts that this area is famous for. We got to see silk worms in their different stages (the final one being snacks sold by street vendors), and the cocoons being processed. We also got to try stretching the silk, which was surprisingly difficult. Then they gave us the hard sell on what a wonderful product silk is. After that it was back to the Sheraton to rest. This time our room wasn’t quite as fancy as last time, but it was still quite nice.

At 6 PM it was off again to one of the dinners which are included in the tour. This was at a very modern, fusion restaurant all the way across town. Traffic was extra crazy since it was rush hour. We nearly had a head-on collision with a scooter, but Mr Lee was unflappable. Playing chicken into oncoming traffic is commonplace, but one should not make any assumptions based on the size of the vehicles involved. The only other customers at this restaurant were also on a similar tour. The cuisine was a strange mixture of western and Chinese food very artfully presented. Once again, there was easily twice as much as we could eat. We shared some with our guide and driver, and Angela took home the leftovers, so at least they didn’t go to waste this time.

After dinner we were driven to the theater where they had a Cirque du Soleil type show called Dream Like Lijang. On the way there, Mr Lee finally lost his cool, honking and swearing. We had been waiting for a couple minutes at a very busy intersection behind a car that was yielding to traffic. “No guts, no glory” must be Mr Lee’s motto, because he really couldn’t stand the other driver’s patience.

The show was nice, sort of a cross between acrobatics and ballet. It was also only an hour and 10 minutes long, which was good because we were quite tired. It was divided into three acts: the first was the river, the second was the mountains, and the third, well, I couldn’t figure it out. Photography was not allowed during the show, but I was surprised to see the cast members lined up by the exit so that people could pose for pictures with them. We skipped this.

Guilin on a Friday night seems to have a pretty lively nightlife. There were pedestrians, bicycles, and scooters everywhere, but Mr Lee refused to yield to any of them. I imagine that if we had stopped for a pedestrian, we may never have gotten moving again. In front of the hotel, Mr Lee played chicken with what appeared to be a police SUV complete with flashing lights on top. Only at the last second did he yield just enough inches for the vehicles to squeeze by each other without slowing down. Amazingly, he did not get pulled over for that.